The Power in a Name

I remember going to the OBGYN, year after year. Always presenting with different, yet troublesome symptoms. For six years, I was told nothing was wrong with me. But I will never forget the day a doctor looked at me and said PCOS. In putting a name to my symptoms, I suddenly had hope. My concerns were validated and it was an empowering experience. All this, because my symptoms were given a name.

So we gave Alex's feelings a name. Worry. We've also talked about what worry can do to your body.

And I did get one very useful piece of insight from the last book I read. It talked about "worry" vs. "planning". Worrying consumes you with dread and what-ifs. It serves no purpose, it doesn't change the outcome and it often exacerbates the cycle of anxiety. Whereas planning is a proactive alternative. You anticipate something that may happen and prepare for it. And once you have planned for the what-if, the need to worry no longer exists.

So I talked to Alex about this. She had a school play coming up and we were all really nervous about how she'd do. She was most concerned that she would get sick either at the play or on the way. She was very, very consumed with worry. So we talked about her two choices. She could either worry herself about it and possibly get a sick tummy over it, or we could plan for the what-ifs.

She chose to plan!

So we packed a small bag of crackers and a drink. If she started to feel the least bit sick, she was to snack on a couple crackers and take a few deep breaths. She also took some tummy medicine before we left. This helped reassure her tremendously.

Once we got to school I asked how she was feeling and she said great. She reiterated all the stuff we talked about. And she told me she wasn't worried at all because she had planned ahead. I swear for a girl who is struggling so hard with academics, she amazes me with the concepts she grasps.

The play went off without a hitch. She was a star! She later told me about a girl who had last minute stage fright. She told me, "I told her that I guess I was just born for the stage. Some people are and some people aren't and I guess I just was". Atta girl, Alex!!!