Collaborative Problem Solving

The Collaborative Problem Solving approach was suggested to us as an effective way to help Alex. The approach is in contrast to many commonly practiced approaches such as positive reinforcement and negative consequenses. Both of which we've experienced very little success when used with Alex. It's much more about understanding your child and getting to know them better, helping them feel safer and loved, and figuring out where their behaviors may be coming from. I know that sounds ridiculously simple, but I swear, I already see the validity.

Take a look at this article When a Parents 'I Love You' Means 'Do as I Say'. It talks of a similar concept.

And here is what Wikipedia has to say about CPS...

Collaborative Problem Solving

Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) is a behavior management approach developed for children with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges. The CPS approach—originated by Dr. Ross W. Greene in his book, The Explosive Child (1998; 2001; 2005) and subsequently in his book Lost at School (2008) -- views behavioral challenges as a form of learning disability and seeks to correct behavior through cognitive intervention. While studied[1] primarily in children with Oppositional Defiance Disorder, it has been suggested for behavior management in people with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Asperger syndrome, and autism.
CPS is important in the world beyond children with disorders. The National Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards, and Student Testing(CRESST) listed “higher order thinking, interpersonal and teamwork skills, and problem solving…” as important skills in the working world. These skills are taught in schools and are useful considering that in the workforce most people have to work in groups. In addition empirical evidence shows that the cognitive development of students is improved by CPS. Creative Problem Solving can be broken down into multiple components. The two largest categories are collaborative learning and problem solving. Collaborative learning is exploded into six skills: communication, leadership, interpersonal, decision making, coordination, and adaptability. Problem solving is divided into content understanding, problem solving strategies and self-regulation. The latter two are broken down further. Problem solving strategies can be domain independent or domain dependent. Self-regulation involves motivation, reduced to effort and self-efficiency, and metacognition, which is made up of self-checking and planning.[2]

I've already purchased the book cited above and I am anxious to dig into it! I'll let you know my thoughts.

Summer Recap

As promised, I'll recap a bit of Alex's summer and how she did. If nothing else, this serves as my personal journal/log. Something I can look back on when trying to find patterns, connections, or connecting dots.

In short, summer was great!

As expected, Alex's anxieties decreased substantially. And as a result, her overall health improved dramatically (as did the mood of our entire home).

Coincidentally, Alex's birthday happens to fall the week summer break begins. So she turned 6 on June 27th. And in a casual conversation she had with her 8 year old cousin, it was suggested that she might grow out of "this".

So the cycle then began, only this time in the opposite direction.

School was out. She was under very little pressure. Which meant her stomach aches went away immediately. Which, to her, had meant she'd outgrown it. Which meant she didn't have to worry about getting sick. Which meant she didn't actually get sick!

This was our whole summer. Complete and utter peace.

I am continually amazed at the power of ones mind. How her physical symtoms can be so directly related to thinking.

Now we have been warned by the psychologist that this can all go terribly wrong quickly. Because Alex is such a black/white thinker, he believes that when she does get sick some time in the future, her tune will change. She may feel back to square one, and then believe she hadn't outgrown it, which would then feed the anxieties all over again. So he just cautioned us that when she does get sick, because of course all kids do, she is going to need a tremendous amount of reassurance that she WILL get better.

Also, over the summer, we've done a bunch of reading, changed a few of our approaches and just been a bit more in tune to her. All this combined has really paid off. We know our journey is just beginning and we have so much to learn. But I think at least we all feel a bit more empowered, including Alex.

A Diagnosis

Over the last week, we've had three lengthy visits with the pediatric psychologist.  We loved him immediately and he truly seems to "get" Alex.  She too had an hour long session with him on Friday.  They both seemed to get a lot out of the session.

So today was our day to meet with him and go over his findings.  I had no expectations really.  I am not sure how all this is supposed to go.  I was half thinking he would be dismissive and we'd be back to square one.

That was not the case.

He didn't hesitate in the least in giving her an official diagnosis of Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive.  The anxiety, we expected.  The OCD, not so much.  But in the end, it made PERFECT sense.

Walking out of the hospital it all hit me and I started to get shaky.  My SIX year old has anxiety.  It was a mixed bag.  For one moment I was thrilled that someone validated our concerns.  Then it hit me again, my baby has a potentially serious illness.  One she will likely struggle with for the rest of her life.

Shawn asked about it being something she would outgrow.  But Dr Yeager was honest and said that neither were something you ever really outgrow.  It will all be about management.

So.  I am not really sure how to feel.  I am both nervous and excited about this coming year.  So much of Alex's troubles were compounded by school.   So we are very anxious to see how this year plays out.

I will give a general overview of how she has done this summer (in another post).  But right now, I am just too tired.

'Night.